The new iPhone XR, XS, XS Max and Apple Watch (Reposted)

So last week Apple Inc, valued at an outstanding $1 Trillion worth of stock released a new range of iPhones and watch. The iPhone XR, XS and XS Max. The XS Max and XS are almost the same but just different sizes. For those that have never owned an iPhone these are the predecessors; iPhone 3G, 3GS, 4, 4S, 5, 5C, 5S, 6, 6 plus, 6S, 6S Plus, SE, 7, 7 Plus, 8, 8 Plus and X. And by the way the X is read as “ten” not “ex”. So XS is “ten ess” not “excess”

theverge image

So what’s so special about these new toys? First of all they’re bigger in terms of everything. Big on screen size, big on storage, big on camera pixels and obviously very big on price. If you remember the Samsung S8 which was marketed along the tagline “Unbox your phone” to imply the edge to edge displays, the iPhone has finally adopted the same thing on these new phones.
gsmarena image

The XS and XS Max start at $999 and $1099 respectively for the 64GB storage while the XR starts at $749. Basically no cheap iPhone this year. Jesus wept.

The XS and XS Max have stainless steel and glass bodies and only three colours of silver, grey and gold. The XR however has an aluminum and glass body and comes in a variety of colours that include yellow, blue and red. Did I tell you that the XS and XS Max have Infra Red? But the Samsung Galaxy S6 had that so no biggie. The XS and XS Max also have an electrocardiogram. Wow. These phones by the way have no home button. You have to buy it on the side as an accessory (I guess that’s how you get to have $1T worth of stock) or follow some steps that get you a virtual one.

No home button. cnet image

To put things into a much better perspective, here is a table for you to compare the specs

cnet image

Mind you the iPhone was the third most sold phone last quarter after Samsung(No. 1) and Huawei. And now they bring these good but very expensive things… Market share iko wapi? When you look at it, the 512GB storage XS Max costs $1450. This translates to around 5.6M UGX (taking $1 = UGX 3,900) before taxes. After taxes, shipment and the seller’s profit, the final amount should be UGX 10M plus in Uganda. ha. ha. ha.
The XR, XS and XS Max all have dual sim capabilities. Meaning when you borrow your friend’s very expensive iPhone to make a call next time, you’ll have to ask “Sim 1? Sim 2?” LQTM

The XS and XS Max are already on sale but you’ll have to wait till late October for the XR. Ready your money. Sell a kidney, a few acres of land or call your glucose guardian if you can’t raise it. This is a must have. Management says so.

twitter image

Back Camera features. cnet image

Front panel features. cnet image

So why do these iPhones suck;

• The new iPhones like some of their close predecessors don’t have an audio jack or port or whatever you call it and I don’t think they plan on bringing it back. Meaning you’ll have to listen to your music through your loud speaker, Bluetooth headsets or buy the $10 adapter. In short it costs more to listen to music on your new iPhone. Let it be known that this adapter uses your USB/charging port meaning you can’t listen to music while charging. Weep not child. Buy a Samsung.
• No fingerprint ID. Only face ID this time. I hope it’s the kind that requires one to blink before it can open. Otherwise one can unlock your phone while you sleep or with a picture of you. Even with the one that requires you to blink, a video should be able to do it. Huh!
• They charge very slowly. Still the usual 5W chargers while Samsung is out there giving us 40W and 40W+ chargers. Mind you iPhones just got wireless charging. Samsung has had it since the S5 which was many years ago.

The Apple Watch

The new Apple watch series 4 was launched alongside the phones. Predecessors include the Apple watch series 0 and 1. The new watch has round corners but is still not circular. It can play music and videos, surf the internet, tell date and time etc. It requires charging as well. The watch still has much more room for improvement compared to the phone which has improved to near stagnation i.e “same old phone which is now boring” The watch can be paired with your phone. Noice!

gamespot image

Find the original post here.

So, what do you think of these new gizmos?

TYRANNICIDE – Part 6

​Faray had been out for almost half an hour and when he woke his wife sat next to him. Arms and mouth tied up.

“He’s awake” Claressa shouted. She was now ready to have some fun.

Jekyll stepped out briefly and moments later Phoenix appeared. Claressa burst into a cheeky laughter as she pointed at Faray’s face.

“You should see the look on your face”

“Greetings my lord. Now let’s get started” Phoenix said to his king

“First, we shall torture your wife while you watch, then we’ll torture you as well until you beg us to put you out of your misery. Karma is a bitch my lord and I’m that bitch tonight” Claressa bragged

Phoenix immediately picked up Melissa and made her kneel two meters away from her husband. He could clearly see her and she was already in tears. But it was only beginning. Claressa had been heating up her sickle at the fire place and it was now a bright red. While Melissa wept and her tyrant of a husband looked on helplessly, Claressa stepped forward and grabbed her by the hair with her right hand.

“My husband was slaughtered like a swine because of you Melissa. And I lost my scalp because my son was angry while grieving the loss of his father. In all that time you lay here as your servants shoved grapes down your throat. Tonight, we balance the scales”

With her left hand she guided the red blade to the edge of Melissa’s hair until it touched a few follicles which burned and stank up the room with the smell of burning keratin. She pulled the blade towards herself and it touched Melissa’s skin. She jerked and screamed under the gag in sharp pain. Claressa prodded on. The hot blade melted Melissa’s skull skin as it peeled it off with the hair still sticking out of it. She screamed all the way as the hot blade drove through every millimeter of her scalp to the middle of her head. The cut off hairy meat was now hanging and Claressa pulled it by the hair until it tore off her head. Claressa had made a small hair free patch on Melissa’s head. About 3 square inches, the patch ran from the edge of her forehead to the middle of her head. Her skull was almost visible. Claressa held the cut away patch by its hair as it dripped red on the white area it used to sit. Blood oozed slowly out of the patch onto the white like plant sap out of a cut banana sucker. Melissa soon had a small red pool sitting in the middle of her head. She tilted and threw the contents of the pool down the sides of her head. The blood ran down her face, her temples and cheeks and into the hair surrounding the pool. She was bathed. Claressa tossed the cut away patch right before the king’s eyes. He was crying quietly as well. The cloth that shut his mouth was soaking in his tears and he tasted their saltiness when he sucked on the cloth to quench his thirst.

Melissa was left kneeling where she bled and Phoenix picked up Faray next. Phoenix had not watched Faray closely for he had managed to free himself. Faray knocked Phoenix in the side of his ribs with his elbow hitting at his liver buried inside. Phoenix froze and stumbled. Faray was fast as he grabbed the small knife on Phoenix’s belt and stab-punched him right under the ribs. A knife and a full fist were now inside Phoenix’s torso. Faray flexed his arm and shoved it further up into Phoenix’s rib cage till he touched his beating heart. He could feel the energy of having someone’s life in your hands. Literally. It was overwhelming.

“You better stop the play or I’ll slit her throat right now” Claressa commanded with her sickle curved around Melissa’s neck. Faray froze. His arm was still buried in Phoenix’s chest.

“I am holding your son’s heart in my hand right now. I can feel all his energy. His rage. And mostly his love for you. So what shall it be? Your son or my wife?”

With the sickle still on Melissa’s throat, Claressa took a few steps right. The blade slid against Melissa’s neck cutting it open. Blood sprayed out of the cut like a sprinkler and small trails of blood appeared on the cut and started rushing down to her chest. She dropped with in the minute. The recollected pool on her head emptying onto the marble floor. Her body convulsed and her neck bled slowly forming a small pool that flowed into the carpet in the center.

A sad and angry Faray withdrew his hand from Phoenix’s chest. In his palm sat a big piece of meat with severed tubes. He held it up and squeezed it empty. It’s thick red contents ran down his arm to his shoulder and armpits. Phoenix had voiced nothing more than a slight choke when Faray harvested his heart like an apple. Now he slept with his eyes and mouth open. Probably in shock.

Claressa charged at the kneeling Faray with her sickle out ready to sweep his head off his throat. He ducked and she missed. Faray picked up Phoenix’s dagger and took a swing at her. She rised one arm over her head as Faray brought down the stabbing dagger with all his might. She’d hoped to merely stop him but the dagger had found its way into her palm. She cursed in pain as she pulled it out and just then the emergency gong went off. Someone had reported the commotion in the king’s chambers. She’d have company soon and this had to be ended fast. Claressa knew she had to run. But before she could get to the door, Faray jumped onto her back and had her on the floor. Sitted upon her stomach, he began to punch in her face. She still had her strength and managed to overturn him. She lifted his head and hit it against the floor mashing up his brains. He lay still as she drew the dagger in her boot and go apeshit on his neck. Stabbing it rapidly and repeatedly as the blood splashed and sprayed like a hose. Faray could hardly move. He was choking repeatedly on his own blood. She stabbed his eye balls and yanked them out. They sat at the tip of the dagger like a grape on a toothpick. And then she kissed him. She sucked the breath out of him till his blood drowned lungs were empty. He froze and he was gone. Taken by the kiss of death.

She sat there recollecting herself wondering whether to run for life or just sit and wait for what was coming. Her son was already dead. So why run? But then she remembered she’d left back the rest of her family that needed her at home. She had to pick herself up and get going.

Nosooner had she stepped out the door than she met Jekyll’s king’s guard in the hall way. A circle of swords and spears surrounded her. She was done. Just at the right moment Jekyll appeared from behind the crowd. He looked at the blood soaked woman before peeping inside the chambers. Three corpses that detailed extreme anger of the killers. Jekyll nodded sideways and Claressa was arrested. She was escorted to a familiar dungeon in the smelting room with spears pinching her back. Jekyll had to arrest her for now and devise a way of freeing her later before the prince’s return. For he would drink from her skull if he found her.

TYRANNICIDE – Part 5

The day had finally arrived. The night was only hours away and preparations were underway right from cock’s crow for the big night ahead.

“The king dies tonight” Phoenix said to his mother

“The king dies tonight” she repeated after him

“Faray dies tonight” they chorused

Armour was polished. Swords, knives, sickles and daggers sharpened by the best blacksmith in the land. Revenge and death were coming in the night. Whoever thought himself the angel of death could easily be surprised. For if you head out to seek revenge remember to dig two graves. You might need one as well.

As the sun disappeared behind the hills, Claressa called what was left of her family to dinner.

“We eat first and then do everything else later. And by everything I mean deep sleep”

“Good one mah” Feliks chuckled. He loved his bed as much as his palm.

“Yeah Feliks you’re doing the dishes first before you sleep. It’s your turn”

“Oh mehn”

Everyone was now safely tucked into their beds and probably in deep slumber except for Wendy. She burned the midnight oil reading whatever book she came across. She was wide awake when her mother and brother slipped out on their quest for blood. She was used to her brother slipping out so she was hardly bothered. They had to be fast and meet up with Jekyll at the palace. It was a three hour trek and the king was fast asleep when they arrived in the dead of the night.

“Well it’s about time. I thought you had abandoned this” Jekyll said in recognition of their late coming

“sorry. We had to put everyone else to bed first” Claressa said to him

“okay then. You’re here now. And where is your armour?”

“It was too heavy and it rattled a lot. It slowed us down and we thought it might give us away so we abandoned it”

“Didn’t you learn anything? The armour was for you to blend in. Of course it rattles and it’s heavy. It’s goddamn steel”

“OH!” mother and son chorused. Jekyll nodded sideways. “We never thought of that really”

“It’s okay. That’s gone. So what do you have?”

“I have a sword, a sickle, a knife on my waist and a dagger in my boot” answered Phoenix

“Two sickles in the hand, knife on my waist and dagger in my boot”

“No sword Miss Claressa?”

“No. Too heavy”

“Okay. Let’s raid a palace”

Jekyll left the two at the rendezvous in the forest a stone throw away from the stables. He had to return to the stables without being seen and switch the stable security with his trusted men. He easily convinced them to move to the palace gate. Two of his men moved in from the smelting room. He waved a torch and his new partners in crime made haste for the stables. They nodded at Jekyll’s men and proceeded past the stables to the threshold of the smelting room. Jekyll urged them on as the room was also clear. Quiet and spacious as it was in the night, their movements through the smelting room were clearly audible. They had to split up. Phoenix continued out of the room using the northern exit where he found the big stone water tank. He stopped right behind the tank and waited for Jekyll’s signal. Jekyll headed out through the western exit into the compound. All Claressa had to do was create a distraction. She threw down a metal bowl and it cried as it hit the floor. The king’s guard were on high alert and wasted no time checking it out. She was close to the northern exit before they could trace the source of the sound. She rejoined her son and together they made their way through the compound to the entrance of the king’s house. Phoenix sat under the stairs to watchout for whatever might interrupt their incomplete mission. Claressa covered herself in a long sheet and walked quietly in disguise behind Jekyll as he checked every corner for guards. One guard had been easily fooled while four wise and courageous ones tasted Claressa’s sickle and Jekyll’s swift sword. Blood had already began to spill. The corpses had to be stashed away to avoid attracting attention. Almost 10 men covered the hall way that led to the king’s chambers. Most of the guards had to be avoided totally to minimize damage, attention and noise. They finally made it to the king’s chambers. Jekyll set foot in first. The window was open and the cold breeze of the night blew into the room. The bed was messy but not a soul in sight. Jekyll was starting to get anxious and worried. It felt like a trap. Just then there was a tap on his shoulder.

“Don’t move” the voice said

It was a bust. The king had appeared from behind the door and had his sharp sword resting on Jekyll’s shoulder. He could easily push it forward and smear the sharp blade against his jugular vein and split it open. It’d take no more than ten minutes for him to bleed to death. He had to obey.

“It’s me my lord. Jekyll”

“I know who you’re. Question is, why are you in my chambers uninvited?” Faray kept the sword at Jekyll’s neck and circled him until they faced each other.

“I’m sorry my lord but I thought I heard a strange sound coming from in here. I thought you were under attack”

“Indeed. Under your attack commander. Care to explain yourself?”

Jekyll knew that if this dragged on any longer he was bound to be headless before the crack of dawn. He had to conjure the smoothest explanation that’d get the king to calm down and get that blood thirsty blade off his throat.

“Truth is my lord, I think we’re under attack. I found some of my men at the stables unconscious. I had to check to make sure you and the queen were okay.”

“How come I haven’t heard the gong?”

“I wanted to keep it quiet and keep them thinking that we didn’t know yet. That way we can be able to capture them by surprise”

“Good thinking commander” Faray immediately withdrew his sword and Jekyll breathed a sigh of relief. His heart was back in his chest cage. “So who’s manning the door?”

Just before Jekyll could make up an answer, Claressa kicked the door in.

“I am!” she answered. “Scratch that. I was. Because I’m not there now”

“Who the hell are you? Who the hell is this Jekyll? And what is she doing in my chambers?”

“I’m Claressa” she answered as she bowed and rose up to put the outer blade of her sickle under the king’s chin. “We meet again my lord”

Faray was swift enough to smack Claressa’s sickle away from his face with her sword.

“So the bald widow lives” He stepped back and fell into Jekyll’s arms who put a big knife to his throat.

“Don’t move a muscle”

“I knew it. You fucking traitor. You have just made the biggest mistake of your entire life. I’ll have your head on a spike for this commander. I’ll find everyone you know and put them to sleep”

“Yeah yeah shut your foul mouth Faray”

Claressa immediately started tying up Faray’s arms behind his back.

“You have no balls Jekyll. Using a bald headed bitch to do your bidding? What do you hope to achieve here? The throne? I must tell you it’s harder than it looks being king”

Jekyll hit the middle of Faray’s head with the back of the knife’s handle and he fell unconscious to the ground.

“Well that was unnecessary” said Claressa as she tied a thick cloth between his lips and jaws to keep him quiet when he woke.

TYRANNICIDE – Part 4

Obadiah’s family had been humbled and for three years none said anything about King Faray. His intimidation had surely work. Atleast that’s what it looked like and it’s what he had convinced himself. But hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Much worse a bald headed one who lost her hair and love of her life to your crazy antics. Her scalp and husband had to be avenged. For two years after her scalp burns had healed, she’d secretly taken up very intensive kuikhan training. The most intense form of martial arts known in Kirkhan and the surrounding nine kingdoms. It incorporated sword fighting, knee kickboxing and dancing karate. Obadiah was the original student of Mzee Mzee who was the kuikhan master. Obadiah had succeeded at sword fighting but averaged in the rest. Mzee Mzee always thought it was because Obadiah had nothing to fight for. He had abit of fear in his heart when he fought with his limbs. The sword however made him fearless and he felt invincible. His new student however was greatly scorned and with everything to fight for. Revenge, her family, her home and her life. She knew she had to fight or die trying. The enemy scared her no more. She fought fearlessly like a dragon. Her only aim; To tear through the enemy’s skin and feel his heart thumb in her hand before she ripped it out. She couldn’t wait any longer despite Mzee Mzee telling her she wasn’t ready.

“You’re only half way there child. You need more time.”

“All I need is a month to hatch a plan and then the king’s head will be mine”

“You go out to seek revenge but I must warn you, he will be expecting you. Don’t end up on his sword.”

“Only one of us is getting on a sword alright. I’ll see you ol’ man”

She hatched a plan of attack on the king’s palace. The most secure place in Kirkhan.

“We walk in through the front door and kill anyone who tries to stop us till we get to Faray. Kill Faray. Behead him and then exit”

“Great plan mah. We’ll keep it under consideration but for now let’s try something that actually won’t get us all killed. I brought someone who can help”

Just then Jekyll walked into the room.

“Mah, meet Jekyll”

Claressa tore past her son and landed a heavy punch under Jekyll’s chin. His teeth knocked together crashing his tongue in between. He spit blood right before Phoenix swooped in and carried his mother away.

“He cannot be here and I don’t want him here”

“Mah please…”

“He’s the goddamn enemy and you bring him into my compound? What is wrong with you? Have you forget how he kidnapped us in the middle of the night? Have you?”

“Ofcourse I haven’t. But he lost his brother too just like we lost dad”

“How do you mean?”

“King Faray had my brother killed when I was just a young man. My brother was queen Melissa’s ex boyfriend. She was his greatest love and he got killed for it.”

“You mean Rydle was your brother?” asked Claressa.

Jekyll nodded with tears starting to form in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry” Claressa stepped forward and hugged him. He continued to sob away quietly on her shoulder.

“But why would you work for the king and even do his bidding?”

“Because I wanted to get close to him, earn his trust and be able to take him out when an opportunity best presented itself”

“So you come here expecting us to trust you? Why should we? Why really?”

“Because I’m your best shot at getting to the king.”

“hhmm”

“He’s right ma. And you know it”

“If he really is Rydle’s brother then I guess we can trust him. I knew Rydle through my late husband. He was such a great painter. And above all a good man. You miss him?”

“Yeah. It gets to me some days. Especially when I see his paintings”

“Like the one in the chapel?”

“The tyrant off his high horse. That’s what he called it but I always thought it was a knight getting onto his horse”

“I know right!” Claressa chipped it

“A still frame of someone midway getting onto and off a horse will look almost the same but that is a tyrant because of the crown on his shoulder. The crown had fallen off his head meaning he was falling off his horse”

Claressa and Jekyll both stared at Phoenix as he explained and chorused in “Aaaahhhh” after they finally understood it.

“Can we get back to business now?”

“Sure son. So what’s the plan?”

“Jekyll is the man with the plan. What’s the plan Jekyll?”

He motioned for everyone to huddle around the table in the centre. On the table lay a sketched blue-print of the palace.

“So we move in in a fortnight. We enter through the stables, then the smelting room and into the palace compound. I have selected some men to relieve the usual ones when the time comes. Two men at the stables and four in the smelting room. It’s quite big. Once were in the compound, we’ll be faced with the King’s guard. They roam the compound throughout the day and night. About ten men at a time.”

“I thought I you were the commander of the king’s guard?”

“Yeah. That’s where I come in and distract them. I’ll need one of you to cause a disturbance so I can have a reason to make them leave their patrol areas. Feliks can do that I guess”

“Feliks is not coming. He’s staying behind to look after his sisters and little Greg”

“Okay then. I guess you’ll have to do it” Jekyll looked to Claressa

“Because I’m a woman?”

“Exactly. Nothing distracts soldiers like the sight and sound of a beautiful woman”

“FYI I have a bald head”

“And so?”

“If you say so”

“Good. So I’ll send them in your direction but not directly to you. You should therefore be able to evade them and rejoin us at the entrance to the residence. Once we leave Claressa behind to create the distraction, Phoenix and I will continue past the smelting room and into the compound. Phoenix will have to hide behind the water tank until I give the all clear once Claressa’s distraction works. From the entrance we enter the residence together but Phoenix will have to stay down and watch out for anything unusual while me and Claressa move in and capture Faray”

“Capture? I thought this was a spot and kill type of thing?” interrupted Claressa

“We will have the upper hand if we capture him. He’s valuable and so will we if we capture him. They’ll think twice before making a move on us. Then we can later kill him later in the most amusing way since this is all about revenge, right?”

“Right”

“But if we kill him right away they’ll come hunting us only to kill us”

“Your plan seems flawless. Anything unusual that might come up?” Phoenix asked

“Well there’s a possibility that they might call for backup”

“What’s the size of this backup?”

“A full battalion if the threat is considered to be big. The palace gong will sound three times. That’s the signal. Once you hear it you have to drop everything. Abandon all plans and start on the evasion procedure. The possibility of being taken alive after the gong has gone off is very minimal. Remember this”

“Understood. So when do we attack?”

“A fortnight from now”

“Try two nights from now. We’re tired of waiting Jekyll” Phoenix insisted

“We’re not ready. We haven’t even rehearsed the plan once. We need to rehearse it over and over till it’s perfect. Otherwise we risk playing into Faray’s hand”

“We appreciate your concern Jekyll. You’ve been a great asset. Provided us great intel but we move in two nights from now” Claressa insisted as well.

Mother and son had put their feet down. Despite not being ready, the plan would be in play in two nights. The thirst for the tyrant’s blood had gone overboard. Humans had turned vampires now. For two days and two nights the plan was rehearsed. Claressa and Phoenix were convinced they were ready but Jekyll wasn’t. He knew King Faray was a paranoid tyrant. He easily sniffed out the least unusual of things and sought the best protection. He personally handpicked his personal guards. He boasted the second largest and best trained army amongst his eight neighbours. Beating the security wasn’t going to be a walk in the park but the confidence and urge were a start.

Series Review: Money Heist (La Casa de Papel)

This is the story of the biggest money job ever. It’s set in Spain so the entire thing is in Spanish. You’ll have to watch with one eye on the screen and another reading the footing subtitles. If you watched Narcos I’m guessing you’re used by now or at least know some Spanish already. You can add “Less fluent in Spanish” to your resume after this one. Two full seasons out already so you can start there. There’s talk of a third season on the way but it seemed like it all ended at the end of season two. I guess we shall see.It’s the story of 8 criminals who are brought together by a man with a plan. They have to study the plan in class for five months to make 2.4B Euros. The “man with the plan” dubbed “The Professor” is the one teaching the class. The Professor discourages personal connections between gang members to the extent of not allowing them to know each other’s names. They have to use names of cities. He also expects utmost professionalism and patience. The gang of eight is Tokyo, Berlin, Denver, Moscow, Helsinki, Oslo, Rio and Nairobi. Nairobi and Tokyo are the only females. Denver is Moscow’s son and they came in together. Helsinki and Oslo are siamese twins.

So what’s the plan exactly? There’s no bank that has 2.4B Euros cash in one place. I doubt even multiple banks can raise it. Even that is too risky to go robbing from bank to bank. A mint factory however can get you 2.4 billion though not in one day. It’d take days to print that amount. What’s the plan you ask? The plan is to get into the Royal Mint Factory/The Money House (La Casa de Papel), hold everyone there hostage for days as you buy time to print 2.4 billion Euros. 2.4 billion Euros in 50 Euro bills. Crazy right? You will need lots of ammunition, machine guns, heavy caliber guns, fake guns, explosives, untrackable analog telephone landlines, red jumpsuits and masks for you and all the hostages.

The plan was flawless. It measured all possibilities including the possibility of some hostages escaping. While the 8 led by Berlin went in to do the job, the professor stayed outside tying up loose ends and getting close to the inspector of police leading the negotiation for the release of hostages. Technically it wasn’t a robbery because they printed their own money and took noones’ money. Besides, central banks do this all the time. Printing and feeding money into the economy out of nowhere. Liquidity injection as they call it.

The plan was almost flawless. But some gang members fell in love and that totally distracted them from thinking according to the plan. Some of the members were hotheaded and some did things out of emotion that derailed the entire plan. Gang members turned on each other. For most of these times the professor was never available on phone to put them in check as he was busy getting close to the Inspector. He benefited greatly from it on the most part but it hurt the other 8 and the plan on another part. In the end they were forced to leave earlier than expected with less money than planned. Some hostages were troublesome and it hurt the plan on one end.

How is it? It’s emotional, funny and extremely thrilling.

What’s in it? Guns, a fine Tokyo that looks like a mature version of Mathilda from “The Professional”, Spanish coarse language, little sex and more guns. 

What I liked;

1. Berlin, the leader of the operation on the inside. He always kept calm, was good at interacting with people, always stuck to the plan but he made two bad decisions one of which broke the most important rule. Do not kill hostages. Zero bloodshed.
2. The Spanish coarse language. “puta mierda”
3. The beauty of the plan
4. Denver’s laugh.
5. Nairobi’s commentary as the machines printed money
6. A turned hostage (Stockholm) shooting at the invading police. Stockholm because they thought (s)he had Stockholm syndrome.
7. This is a bit of a spoiler but here it goes. One of the gang members became a problem, was thrown out, got arrested, escaped during transportation, rode a bike back to the heist, raced through a crowd of shooting police and managed to get back inside the mint factory. I was totally blown away by this scene.

What I disliked;

1. For a man with such a solid plan the professor was way too nervous in intense situations. More nervous than a 6 year old girl.
2. The love birds derailing the plan
3. Problematic hostages
4. Impatient members
5. They never planted a fake undercover hostage. He’d have been useful.
6. They never told us how everyone left the city at the end yet they had closed off all roads leaving the city
7. The professor never did enough homework on the police. 

It’s probably the best series you’ll watch this year if you haven’t watched it. It’s good for binge watching on a Friday or Saturday night till early the next morning. I loved it. Enjoy!

Desertification

Every morning I assume most people wake up, use the toilet, brush their teeth, shower, have breakfast and head out to wherever they’re going. In the course of the day they’ll have lunch, snacks, some drinks and end the day with dinner and a shower. In total, this person will have used about 80litres of water which is quite a lot. All this water used will head out as wastewater and probably won’t be recycled to the source. The impact in the end is that the source of all our domestic and industrial water will get depleted because it lacks replenishment.

For instance, take a look at the Colorado river that runs from the US to Mexico. It boosts of 15dams on the main stem and hundreds more on tributaries according to Wiki.

In addition water for irrigation, commercial, industrial and domestic use (for over 35million people) is also obtained from this river. Irrigation takes up to 70% of the rivers water. Dams hold atleast 4times the rivers annual flow. At the mouth which is the Gulf of Mexico, the delta covers less than 250 square miles down from 3000 in the 1920s. The river has completely dried up heading backwards for about 80 miles from the river mouth and it has been so for atleast twenty years.

The river now ends in Mexico’s Morelos dam a few miles from the US-Mexico border. 

Another river on a similar path is the river Nile flowing from Lake Victoria to the Mediterranean sea bordering Egypt.

Along the way we have several hydropower dams which include Nalubaale dam (formerly Owen falls dam), Kiira dam, Bujagali dam, 600MW Karuma dam (Kiryandongo district), 183MW Isimba dam(Kayunga and Kamuli districts), 80MW Rusumo dam(Rusumo district, River Kagera), 345MW Aswan high dam (Aswan, Egypt), Sennar dam(Sudan), 6400MW Grand Ethiopian Renaissance Dam(GERD), Al-Rusayris dam among others. Each dam is constructed to hold back the river water and create an artificial lake behind the dam. The lake then provides a large amount of water through a penstock to turn turbines and generate electricity. Basically convert mechanical energy to electrical energy. This means more and more water is held back after each dam and the river gets weaker downstream. Along the same river we have irrigation schemes that tap lots of water from the river to irrigate desert and arid farm lands in South Sudan, Sudan and Egypt. The livelihood of these countries lying in the Sahara is dependant on this river. Water treatment plants to supply fresh water for domestic, commercial and industrial use also exist along this river. With all this water being taken from this river it is bound to dry up at some point. You could look at the source of the Nile and see a vast water body and you’d think I’m bananas for saying or even thinking the Nile could dry up but it is possible.

Another case study is the Aral sea lying between Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan. Originally 68,000km2 (about half the size of UK) and more than 100 metres deep meaning it could handle big steam ships. Currently about a quarter of it is left.

It’s salty as opposed to the original almost fresh water and no ship in sight. In the 1960’s, the Amu Draya and Syr Draya rivers that fed the Aral sea were diverted to irrigate Soviet cotton and food fields. Cotton was referred to as white gold at the time. Uzbekistan indeed became the world’s largest exporter of cotton in the late 80’s. Originally the 4th largest lake in the world, it had shrank to 8th largest in a period of 40 years after losing 60% of its surface area and 80% of its volume. The sea had no outflow and therefore was originally slightly salty. Despite this fact it was almost as good as fresh water. 30 years after the diversion of its feeding rivers, the Aral sea was drying up very fast, had split into two and was more salty than the Dead Sea. It later split into four parts in the subsequent years. Winds blowing over the sea in addition to the hot summer weather drained it faster as well until mud and salt pans started to appear. As of 1997, the sea had diminished to a tenth of its original size in 1960. Only the northern part in Kazakhstan and western part remain today. The eastern basin is today referred to as the Aralkum desert.

Continued use of water from water bodies without recycling back wastewater is catastrophic and could bring about desertification in the surrounding areas. Desertification is the process by which a geographical region becomes a desert due to human activities and climate. Desertification itself brings about climate change for example very cold winters and hot summers. Prolonged and rearranged wet and dry seasons in the tropics.

Solution;

1. Use less water. Save water even if your landlord is giving you free water. Use less water to do your chores and hygiene practices. Water used daily should not exceed 40 litres per person. Less strain on water bodies means they won’t dry up.
2. Plant trees. Cut one plant three. Trees help to raise the water table as their roots stretch down into the soil. The water that usually heads deep down is encouraged to stay up for trees to use. Trees also provide cover and help in rain formation through transpiration.
3. In arid and already desertified areas with seasonal rainfall, big ditches can be dug to harvest water and trees plants planted close to the ditches. As the trees grow they help in rain formation. They also attract and house birds which bring with them more plant seeds. Trees also raise the water table. It is believed that wherever a desert exists, it was once wet and therefore vast amounts of water sit right below the scorching dryness.

TYRANNICIDE – Part 3

Jekyll led the tyrant to the cells next to the blacksmiths’ workshop. Everyone was ordered to leave at once. Phoenix was still tied up and unable to move his arms an inch.

“C’mon Jekyll. This is no way to treat a man. Free him at once. The chain should be enough”

Phoenix’s arms were freed. But a chain tethered him by the leg to a corner in his cell. He could flex all he wanted but couldn’t reach the man he wanted to get his hands on. King Faray motioned to Jekyll to bring out Claressa. She stood next to Jekyll with her arms tied. Jekyll held her by the neck while the king paced about making his irritable speech. Valeria, Wendy, Feliks and little Greg could only look on from their cells.

“I guess you’re all wondering why I invited you here. Especially you Phoenix. The titan.” He pointed and gestured with his hands with the confidence of a man who owned the world. And he kinda did.

“Well a little bird sang to me about how you’ve been making threats to avenge your good old father. Under different circumstances I’d be with you on that but you see Phoenix your father had a long cork that wanted to reach under my wife. My queen. Do you have any idea how insulting that is? A man I picked up from nothing, gave everything. And that’s the thanks I get”

“Perhaps your wife wanted more than that pinky you call a cork” Phoenix jumped in.

A couple of Jekyll’s men giggled lightly but fell silent when the king turned around.

“Well you can shoot your words at me Phoenix. I get it. You’re angry. I can let those slide. After all only one of us between me and your father stands here today. What I won’t have is you shooting arrows at me. You dare threaten your king you threaten your own life”

“I am not threatening you. I am promising you. You will pay in full”

“Okay Phoenix. Perhaps I should put things into a better perspective for you”

Faray clapped his hands and Claressa was forced onto her knees and leaned forward. Two of Jekyll’s men walked in carrying a red bowl with long handles. The bowl wasn’t painted red. It was red hot. Silver was heated in the bowl to almost 1000°C till it melted before casting in a mould. The red bowl contained hot silver at over 900°C. The two men stood on either sides of Claressa with the bowl over her head.

“Do you get me now Phoenix?” He grabbed Claressa’s hair with his nails and forced her weeping face to look up.

“Don’t you dare. She has nothing to do with this”

“She has everything to do with this. And so does everyone here. Would you rather is use little Greg instead? I’m not a monster Phoenix. Maybe you’re but I am not.”

Little Greg had slightly the least idea of what was going on. Valeria and Wendy were already in full blown tears. They had just lost a father and now their father’s killer was here tormenting them and torturing their mother. Feliks tried to be strong for his mum and sisters but he couldn’t hold back the tears. They slid right out of his left eye. Their pleas fell on deaf ears.

“Let me show you Phoenix”

He motioned for his men to overturn the bowl emptying extremely hot molten silver onto the middle of Claressa’s head. The silver slid down her head eroding away her hair and scalp as it went till it reached her forehead and started dripping onto the ground. Claressa cried in pain. Starting off quietly and building up to a very loud deafening scream. It was like giving birth through her skull. The pain was excruciating and unbearable. King Faray stopped his men. It was enough damage for the day. Enough damage to make a woman bald. What would a bald woman look like anyway?

King Faray took one last look at Phoenix through the mesh of the cage. Phoenix had one wet eye and he looked on at what was happening to his mother in utter shock and anger.

“Atta boy. You get it now. I always knew you were wise Phoenix. That should remain a reminder of what can happen if you cross me. There’s more where that came from. Stay wise my boy. Your mother should keep you busy for now. Alright then. See ya”

The king turned at once and marched out. Jekyll was left with angry prisoners one of whom was injured. He had to get rid of them without killing them. Send them back home. Despite their anger they didn’t care about Jekyll or the even king. They cared about nursing their mother.

It’s all about the money!

Once in a while you’ll meet a girl who’ll say things like, “i wish guys could understand it’s not all about the money” and she’ll be 100% wrong. Most probably because she’s single and a little scared and desperate. It’s all about the money. Has always been and will always be. The one insecurity most men have is about their finances. You toil day in day out for the woman you love well knowing she’s approached by atleast one guy everyday that’s richer than you and one other guy that’s richer and better looking than you. So why should she even reply your texts? Like why really? Because you care about her? Because you pay attention to her? Because you’re romantic? Pffff! Bitch please! Maybe those two guys have that as well and they’re richer. We all know how money can make even the most clueless guy romantic. He’ll buy her a big black shiny Jeep with a big red bow on the hood and it’ll put your necklace or flowers or whatever to shame.

Perhaps I’m going too far with the big Jeep. Let’s turn it down a notch. You’ve just met and maybe you like her so much. Abit more than she likes you. She might not even like you. So what does this mean? You have to work her till you impress her and there are no limits. Embarass yourself for her, do stuff you deem stupid and boring all because she likes them and above all spend on her. I’m talking regular outings, lunch deliveries to her workplace, gifts, a day at the spa and salon etc. Go nuts basically. Regular outings will include but not limited to drinks at the bar, nice restaurant dates, dancing at that nice club in town, a trip to some random location, picnics(the blankets and wine kind) etc. Regular outings because it’s probably the only time you get to see her since you’re not yet dating. Remember out of sight is out of mind. So here you’re. Making what? 500? 600? 700k a month? You’re not that badly off but you’re not there yet. You totally can’t swing that. You’ll have about 200k disposable income after all expenses. You’ll take her out twice and starve for the rest of the month.

Then someone will come in like “what if she has her own money”. Well her money is her money and your money is y’all’s money. Besides, you need to treat your woman even if she has her own money. Apparently it shows that you care or something like that. If she’s making way more than you do then she’s the alpha here and boy you’re trying to swing in the premier league all the way from league 2. Female alphas are aggressive and will slander you most of the time because they take shit from no one and don’t entertain mediocrity. You’ll have to be extra lucky and more charming than a bloody prince to make this work.

In the words of Metallica “we’re so fucked. Shit outta luck”

To put it more easily, money simplifies everything as it’s a measure of security and power. Courtships are about competition. And like any other animal in the animal kingdom, the female always picks a mate that’ll grant her security. One that makes her feel safe and takes care of her. For mooses the one with the biggest head of antlers wins them all after he fights off any lingering competition.

The red bearded bee eater gifts his mate with bees he’s caught after squeezing the poisonous sting out of them. After she has fed and filled up she’s his for sure. There can only be one mature male in a pride of lions. He beat off any competition with his might to become king. It’s him that’ll have all the females. Courtship is that easy. Show power, take care of her, feed her, keep her safe and she’s yours. And in this world of extreme capitalism money will grant you all this. Don’t be deceived. If you feel like you have money and she leaves you for someone else then he’s probably wealthier or more powerful.

Women often get attracted to power. There is almost no man in a high position of power that has only his wife at home. Several side chics with whom they’ve even sired a few children. The wife at home can only pray she knows all of them and understand her sexual network.

Even after you’re married money will always be an issue. Your wife will despise you if you’re broke. She’ll tell your children behind your back how worthless you’re at your big age as you drown in debt. As Chris Rock told us, “only women and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is loved for what he provides” Children will call their mother to talk to her once in a while but easily forget about the broke father. A woman will just exist as a mother and her children will thank her for everything. A man will exist as a father, provide everything but zero thanks. Afterall you can’t applaud a fish for swimming.

A broke man is an unattractive man. You wonder how those questionable creatures have all the fine women? Well them ladies done lost their pupils and have dollar signs for pupils now.

“But but he’ll give you ugly kids”

“Well that’s the kids’ problem not mine”

At the end of the day all said and done, the ball is in her court and she has to choose. This is probably the hardest thing for any woman out there. She could choose wisely or poorly. If only they had the Grail Knight from Indiana Jones The Last Crusader to tell them that.

She picks the rich guy because well, he’s rich. But he’s also a misogynist that batters his partner. That’s when the Grail knight comes in and says to her, “you have chosen… poorly”. She could pick the well off guy that seems nice and romantic but he’s a serial cheater and grail knight lets her know. “You have chosen… poorly” After numerous heartbreaks she finally realises her friend was the good one. She choses wisely this time. But he also gets comfortable and start cheating. There’s no winning. For men are trash since the day Adam let Eve eat the forbidden fruit. But you might get lucky and find someone you can tolerate

I’LL BE MISSING YOU

Sheryl had just buried her husband. They’d lived a long life of love, care and tenderness. She’d adored him. Loved him. Taken care of him. Fed him. Kissed him. But the time had come and he’d had to leave her. Perhaps to prepare her place for where she’ll rejoin him in the afterlife. If that was it then the afterlife would start off with a bang as she questions him why he left without notice

“You can’t just get up and go to work in the morning without telling people about your vital dying plans Jonas. Where do we put the dinner we’d made you? It was some gourmet shit. And it cost me a lot for you not to come eat it. Instead you felt you had to die and leave me?”

Her eldest and only daughter Bianca sat next to her in the living room that night. They were going through their photo album. Sheryl and Jonas Saheel. A life of growth, joy, sadness, love and majesticness. They flipped the pages from their times in school, meeting up, going out, work, fun together and many more. Then came the wedding day. Bianca nudged her mother after spotting her on the opposite page. She was clad in a long white gown and veil that covered her face. Next to her stood a young man with a puffy moustache. He held her arm in his while she held a bouquet of lilies in the other. She was having a hearty laugh after Jonas had a make a joke about the priest’s bald head as they walked out of church with everyone congratulating them.

“Rev Paul’s bald spot is so shiny it’s killing my eyes. We might miss the steps and die on our wedding day. Do you see this sun? It’s 2pm-on-a-Monday sun”

“I guess it shines that bright at 10am when it’s your wedding day. My happiest and brightest day ever.” She’d replied him

“Look at him. He’s so handsome isn’t he? Aww” she ran her thumb over his face with a lifted lip of sadness. She clutched a hankie in her hand to wipe her tears and nose periodically.

“Yeah mum. He sure is. Do you miss him?”

“It feels like 2years of missing someone in these 2days he’s been gone. You can’t imagine it dear. It’s infinity. Galaxies and galaxies”

“By the way mum, how did you two meet?”

Sheryl told her daughter the story of her parents’ lives. About her life, childhood, school and meeting Jonas. They’d met in a class meeting for a course they shared at university. They’d co-operated to pass it but sparks always flew whenever they met to discuss gas chromatography. One night as they studied under a lamp he’d kissed her at his desk. She’d kissed him back and then stopped and ran home. They’d had a huge discussion on the matter later at school and they decided to be weird together. She felt the same way about him but had been scared to say anything. They dated till they left school, worked, stayed together and given new life together.

“My best night would be during our first year out of campus. We were broke and watched TV most nights because we couldn’t afford outings like our friends. We watched too many movies and series. But then one night we get home and there is no power. Id had a long and stressful Friday so we napped till 7pm. We get up, go and get snacks. Eat and watch our movie on a laptop as music blared in the neighbouring bar. After the battery was drained we decided to sleep off again close to midnight but failed. So he got up and lit a candle and sat next to our bed. I asked him what he was doing and he said he couldnt sleep so he’ll stare at the burning candle till he sleeps off. I wasn’t asleep either so I got up and sat next to him with a candle burning between us. He asked me to get the pillows and I did. He sat on his like a monk while I leaned on mine. He was in silk shorts and I could almost peep up them.”

“Ew mum. He’s my dad”

“Sorry. Anyway I was in this short night dress. He pulled two blunts for the dressing drawer and handed me one. He lit his, sucked and puffed slowly. He hummed and said I am a monk. Monks are creepy dudes” in a vibrating bass computer voice.”

Sheryl chuckled at the memory just like she did in that moment years ago. She’d lit hers, sucked and choked. He’d reached her back and patted it saying, “pat pat. Go slow girl. Don’t rush the lungs”

Then they smoked on in silence till the blunt started to hit and extreme clarity set in.

She said to him, “Lungs are like a gas chromatography system. They qualify and quantify what you sniff in and give a detection of sample compound e.g a blunt on your brain data acquisition. Nostril is the pump. Lung is the column.”

“Holy Moses. Girl that’s it. Oh my Gahd! It’s freaking me out”

Every new knowledge felt like gospel truth.

Then he said to her, “So filterers are basically HPLC six-exclusion columns because they hold the big particles and let the small ones through though the other is the reverse. Big ones go through. Small ones stay”

“Wow. That’s amazing Jonas. I married a genius”
“We are married?”
“I think so. We’re so perfect together”
“Yeah.”

They’d switched and put the pillows next to each other with their torsos on opposite sides of the pillows. Faces next to each other on the pillow as they puffed marijuana smoke O’s into the air. They played destroying each other’s O’s. Their pointed up lips touched each others cheeks and they knocked into each other to stop each other. Suddenly he’d stopped and stared at her play under the candle light. She was gorgeous and happy under the candle light. He loved her deeply.

“You’re are so fucking beautiful. Dear lord” He bit his lip.
She stopped playing and looked at him. He smiled at her and said “I love you Sheryl”

Not the first time he’d said it but it felt a million times stronger than all the other times combined.

“Aaww” she’d said. “I love you too Jonas”

He’d edged closer and kissed her. The intensity and electricity had been so strong. Pulled them together into the middle. And they’d made love. In the spoon cuddle, on top of him, he behind her and finally he above her with his pillow under her lower back. He’d worked away gently into her. Passionately. Thirstily. It was magical. It was rainbows everywhere. She echoed his name as he began to go fast nearing climax. He’d called hers back. She’d called him again in extreme pleasure nearing her climax as well. They’d both shouted each others names as the nut cracked in between them where their bodies joined. He’d finished inside her and she on him. He’d fallen on her chest and she’d hugged him with her four limbs.

“It was our best night together. We smoked drugs, talked about gas chromatography and made love on the carpet after he said he loved me.
“Eeww mum. Ew. Couldn’t you leave that part out?”
“Sorry girl but now that I calculate it that’s most definitely the night you were conceived”

“Not helping mum”

“One of my best days ever. I knew then I wouldn’t let him go. But I did today. I hope I’ll get to see him again”

“You will mum”

Sheryl’s eyelids squeezed out more tears. She pressed her hankie under her eyes to dry them. Bianca reached over and hugged her mother as they both comforted each other in tears and joyous memories. They cried together as they hugged.

Then Sheryl’s eldest son Marcus burst in.

“Bianca where’s the knife? Were trying to get through some big green fruit”

Bianca raised her finger at him to be silent.

“Marcus. A moment please. We are having a nice moment here. Be quiet”

He was silent for a few seconds then jumped in again.

“C’mon Bianca. A boy needs his watermelon”

“Just get him the knife” Her mother broke the hug and said to her

She got up from her pile and frowned at Marcus as she walked past her mother and Marcus out of the door. She raised her hands at him as if squeezing his dumb head. But he showed her under his bottom lip and followed her to get the knife. She stayed with her brothers briefly as Marcus cut watermelon. They were watching Spongebob Squarepants buy a self-driving car. After having a slice of Marcus’s melon, she returned to be with Sheryl. They’d talked some more till they slept off after passing a flask of liquor between each other. The same flask Jonas had failed to empty. It was lying in his bed side drawer till the girls found it and stoned themselves to sleep.

OUR WORLD

Man has evolved time and time again. From his hairy self to the less hairy self and with better thumbs. This was most probably because he didn’t need the hair after starting to live in caves and the discovery of fire might have also burnt off his body hair. He has also reduced in size due to living in very domesticated environments over a long time. He has made great discoveries along the way like medicine and technology that have made life much easier for him compared to the other animals. With his big brain man has proclaimed himself the greatest thing to ever happen to the universe and also the multi–universes. He has considered himself worthy in the presence of a deity. A deity we’re not sure of but truly believe in because it’s rational like Blaise Pascal suggests and because it also helps us sleep at night. Who can blame us after the hardships we sail through every day in this life?

Man is only great because of his brain and it makes him the greatest threat to himself only after the mosquito. It also makes him the greatest threat to all animal species and earth and life as we know it. He’s not any close as fast as the falcon or cheetah. His skin not any strong as those of the reptiles. His jaws not as strong as those of the shark. And despite the good brain he is probably the only animal I know that needs to be taught how to swim. It comes naturally to most animals. His technology in form of automobiles have claimed multiple lives in accidents. Not forgetting guns, nuclear weapons or a mere steak knife. His industrial setups have released emissions that have depleted the ozone and brought on us the fatal global warming. But green house gases are not the only thing out of industrial setups. Untreated chemical waste and solid waste get dropped in water bodies chocking the environment and chocking the animals that live in it to death. We have had green house gases everywhere. The cocktail of methane, carbondioxide and hydrogen sulphide from our bodies in form of farts is bad enough. Decomposition of natural organic matter (NOM) releases more of these gases. Advanced medicine has also brought to life treacherous pathogens all in the name of science and research.

But what if the tables were turned? And man had an average brain. Imagine if the male species didn’t have to take the females on a proper date to win them over but fight a fellow male till one yields or even dies. Some of us would most definitely never get laid in a world where only the strongest survive. Fleshy behinds and chests would be flashed by the female species to attract mates and those lacking in these would be at the back of the queue. And how would man uniquely initiate the mating? Would we knock knock against the female like tortoises knock shells till she gives it up? Would we offer her a beautiful rock like the penguins do? Or would we have to smear ourselves in our own urine to invite the females like bison do? Or would we have to offer her food till she fills up and gives it up like the red-bearded bee eater? The food part would most definitely be it. It’s working even now.

The food situation wouldn’t be cute at all. Going days without food and then having to hunt for it with all your strength left instead of just walking into a restaurant and ordering food. The wilderness is a bullying ground and we’d most times have our hard earned lunch taken from us by the bullies. That’s if the bullies don’t want us for lunch instead.

One thing is for sure. Our world would survive with everything occurring naturally. Killing for food not recreation. Pass natural waste into the environment that you can trace forward to your future food. Natural medicine from plants would be effective. We wouldn’t need to find another planet as we kill this one. This one would be well alive and sustain us enough.